he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
