If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
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I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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