But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize