just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
