dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize