R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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