If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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