he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
