When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
