What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
