dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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