I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
