he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
