that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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