This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
