We're like a lot better than the average bears
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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