that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize