in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
