she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
