I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
