I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
