i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
