You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
