I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
