I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize