Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize