No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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