I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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