Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
