I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
