at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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