talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
