how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Damn victory sex feels great
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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