come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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