If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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