All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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