2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
false alarm. still invincible.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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