that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
