wanna go halves on a baby?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize