i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
