Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
