weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
