If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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