Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
