he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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