i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
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