DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
