And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
