yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
