Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize