Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
