He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
