You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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