6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
