Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
