Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
