Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
