If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
