I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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