What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
