how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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